The Problems With Hospitals

Hello!

I had to have an operation on my ear on Wednesday - nothing too serious, but it was still an operation. It does mean I might struggle with posts over the next few days though, so sorry if there becomes a distinct lacking of action on this little space, I'll be back on it as soon as possible!

The timing of this sucks too, I had the opportunity to go on a camping trip this weekend with Daisy Doo but had to turn it down, seen as I'm not exactly in the best state. It also means I have to miss a week of work, which sucks. Oh well! It'll all be worth it in the end!

This isn't the first time I've had this operation but it was a bit bigger this time, in hope that it would be the last time I have to have it. The one thing that always gets me every time is that I can't wash my hair for a week - it gives me the serious heeby-jeebies! I hate having gross, greasy hair... I guess it just means I won't be leaving the house for a week! 

There are so many things I hate about hospitals, here are just some of them!

1.

Food.

I cannot stand hospital food, this probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a majorly fussy eater - even my toast has to be cooked in a certain way if you expect me to eat it! This kind of fussiness doesn't bode well for me in hospitals though because, as most people will know, hospital food is in a constant state of sucking, yuckiness... Or is that just English hospitals?

2.

The Smell.

I bet this seems like such a silly thing to dislike about hospitals but I have a seriously strong sense of smell. I think it's because people say that when one of your senses is weaker, another is stronger; well my hearing isn't the best so I think that's why my ability to smell things is amazingly good. It comes in rather useful at times but it's not the best thing to have in a hospital - all I can ever smell is antibacterial wash and occasionally, if someone's bleeding a lot, I can smell blood too, which there is obviously quite a lot of in a hospital... Ewww. 

3.

Boredom.

There is never much to do in a hospital but sit and be nosy. If you've just come round from an anaesthetic (like I had) you don't really have the mental capacity to focus on much, so the likes of reading is out of the question (sad and extremely cry-worthy, I know). I don't know what it's like in other hospitals around the world but, you have to pay for the TV's in English hospitals - something I refuse to do - and so the only other option is to just sit (or lie) there and be bored. Bored, bored, bored.

So there's what I think of hospitals. The only thing I'm looking forward to now is a week relaxing in my bed! Lots of sweet snacks are in order and plenty of feel-good movies! 

Katie x

The Trials and Tribulations of a Job

Hello!

As some of you may have read (HERE) I have a job now!

There are a lot of good points to having a job - like having a regular income! That part's definitely the best part!

There are also some not so great things about having a job; here are five of them (in my opinion):

1.

Not seeing the Little Ones :(

It was Daisy's birthday last week so I did manage to get the night off to go to her birthday tea but normally I take her out a couple of days during the week and I haven't had the chance to do that, which I hate. It was also James's birthday last week (too  many birthdays in one week!) and I only managed to see him for about forty-five minutes; it was literally a quick hello, birthday hug and a quick goodbye. I really miss getting to see them regularly and take them out to do nice things.

2.

No more lie-ins.

I actually have to get out of bed. You have no idea how much of a chore this is. It's awful! I love my bed! And now I have to battle with myself to remove myself from it. It's tough. I feel like I'm neglecting the poor thing. I'm sure my bed knows it too, seen as it's not letting me get a full night's sleep anymore!

3.

Sore feet.

For my job I literally have to stand on my feet for seven hours straight (aside from my eating break about half way through that) and wow is it taking its toll. I feel like every night when I get home I should have some professional masseur here to give me a foot rub. They hurt :(

4.

Uniform.

Most jobs have a uniform. In this sweaty weather, I'm not loving it though. There are a lot of ovens and things where I work (as if that isn't a big give away to the kind of place I work in) so it heats up in there pretty quickly! I have to have my legs covered because of there being lots of hot things, plus I'm super clumsy so it would probably be a good idea anyway, so my jeans are clinging to me within the first half hour and the shirt I have to wear isn't the thinnest of thins either, unfortunately but hey ho! It could be worse. At the secondary school I went to we had to wear all black. Now that was a bit warm!

5.

I miss my grandparents.

Slightly similar to the first one. I normally stay at my grandparents for the majority of the week and then come home for the weekend, or something like that, but these past few weeks I haven't been able to do that and it's killing me. I'm really close to my grandparents and I miss them like crazy not being able to see them. I've even been talking to them on the phone most nights but it's not the same. It takes a bit to get to there house though so I'm constantly trying to figure out whether it's going to be worth going for just the few days or waiting till I've got longer off.

Anyway, those are the woes of having a job. I'll get over them eventually, it's just taking a bit of getting used to when I'm home for the summer and I feel like I'm not getting to see the most important people. And I have sore feet. That never helps.

Katie x 

A Mid Week Pick-Me-Up #7

Hello!

I know I say this a lot but I seriously LOVE writing these pick-me-up's - they just get me thinking, I hope they're as helpful and thought-provoking for you as they are for me!

I've been going to post this quote for quite a few weeks but every week there's been a different one that I thought went better with that week. Well not this week! This quote is finally going to get its time to shine!

"No Ragrets" - We're the Millers

This quote will make soooooo much more sense if you've seen the movie We're the Millers. If you haven't seen it though, then no, I haven't had some spelling problems of epic proportions! 

Without spoiling anything, in the movie, there's a boy with a tattoo that reads "No Ragrets". It's an ongoing joke between my friend and I now, whenever one of us does something stupid we'll say "NO RAGRETS" and the other will say "not even one letter?" and then we burst into laughter!

Basically, the whole point of this week's pick-me-up post is to say never regret anything. At that moment, it was what you wanted. There's no point in wasting your time regretting something that you can't change. Just move on, tomorrow's a new day and all that. If you're anything like my friend and I, you'll just cringe and then spend a lot of time laughing about it! I think that's the best thing you can do, too. Laugh about it! Make it into an ongoing inside joke, whether you're the only one that knows it or it's with a friend, just laugh! 

However, if you do have a tattoo that says "No Ragrets" then I might have a little word with the tattoo artist if I were you, or tell everyone you did it on purpose as a twist on the words; you have no regrets that's why you put an "A" in there to show that. Something like that!

Katie x

Have you read the previous Mid Week Pick-Me-Up's?

A Mid Week Pick-Me-Up

A Mid Week Pick-Me-Up #2

A Mid Week Pick-Me-Up #3

A Mid Week Pick-Me-Up #4

A Mid Week Pick-Me-Up #5

A Mid Week Pick-Me-Up #6

Story Time... Bite 2!

Hello!

So, a couple of months ago now, I posted a short story that I'd written. I was terrified. It was the first one I'd ever publicly posted and I didn't know what people would think about it, or if anyone would even like it and read it. 

It actually turned out to be quite a popular post (I was soooo happy with how it was received that I later posted a different story (HERE) if you want to check that one out, too). Back to the first story though; there was even one lovely man who commented telling me he'd love to read more of it at some point.

I had written more to it then but I wasn't happy enough with what I had to post it on the interweb for everyone to read. However, after a lot of editing, and basically just re-writing it actually, I think I'm happy with this little section, so I thought I'd post it on here!

Once again, I'm completely open to feedback and criticism - it's the only way I can ever improve!

So to Tim, who commented on not only the first part of this story, but the first story I'd ever posted for anyone and everyone to read, thank you so much. You have no idea how much that one little comment meant to me.

Here is part two of the story.

(If you didn't read the first part then just click HERE, otherwise I think you might struggle to make sense of this post and you're probably just wondering what I'm cracking on about!)

Bang, Bang - Part 2

“Don’t. Move.” The figure whispered.

Rose stood stiller than the statue in the town centre; the one that she sat under eating her lunch every day. Mundane memories like that seemed pointless now. She stayed in the exact position she had found him in. She was struggling to take breathes when necessary and the fear in her eyes couldn't be mistaken.

“I’m really sorry.” The figure whispered.

She was still facing him, her eyes staring into his. Rose could see the fear from her eyes mirrored in his. He was scared too. How can the one holding the killing device be the one that's scared? She thought.

“Please don’t move.” He whispered, again.

She wanted to nod. But she didn’t want to go against his commands. She didn't want to move. 

She stood still. 

Completely unmoving. 

Her heart pounding in her chest – she could feel it in her head. In her feet. She could feel her hearbeat everywhere. 

She continued to stay in the same position he had told her to; staring at his face. His scared face.

The sound of the trigger being pulled rang throughout the shop and Rose collapsed on the floor.

She stayed there for several minutes. Motionless. She had moved, though. She hadn't meant to. She'd moved. 

Rose mentally assessed her body, trying to focus on any points of pain. None made themselves obvious. She wondered if this meant she was already dead. She tried to remove herself from the darkness that was surrounding her. A pale figure was standing in her line of view, though. Her whole body jolted back, hitting a large shelf of tins, several of them falling around her. 

Great. Those can't be sold now. The boss is not going to be happy about that. She mentally chastised herself - she was in a do or die situation and she was thinking about some dented tins of peas!

She sat there, her body shaking, staring at the pale figure but all he did was continue to watch her. His deep, midnight blue eyes scared and… pleading?

He closed his eyes, squeezing them, like he was trying to crush images and memories with them. She took the moment to try and observe him. His pale skin made him look like he'd been hiding from the sun for his whole life. It was the first time that she had taken him in properly, his dark hooded jacket hid most of his face but there were still a few black strands of hair that managed to peek out. His head was bowed and his eyes still shut. Rose made a further assessment of him. His shoulders seemed broad but she couldn't see much underneath the baggy hoody. She noticed the dark circles under his eyes; they were more prominent thanks to his pale skin. He couldn't be any older than herself... Mid-twenties, maybe?

Rose tore her eyes away from him, looking to her right. The cash desk draw still sat wide open. She wondered why he was still here if he’d taken the cash. Why? Part of her hoped someone had heard the single gunfire bang as they were walking past the little shop . She knew it wasn't likely. Not many people randomly walked past the remote, village shop.

She averted her eyes to the right instead, her mind still swirling with “why’s”.

A growing pool of red covered the cream-tiled floor.

The gunshot hadn't been a mistake.

A whimper escaped her body, ruining her vow of silence.

A hand came out to touch her shoulder and she flinched. It jumped back to its owner’s side.

“I’m sorry.”

Rose finally looked at him. Her eyes meeting his. Her stare was that cold that he was the one to flinch next.

“I’m sorry.”

She was starting to wonder if those were the only words he knew.

The fear she had felt was being overtaken by anger; she quickly crawled to her boss’s side. Her hands fluttered around his wrist. She was once taught how to look for a pulse but she couldn't remember where the best place was to check for it.

She pressed her forefinger into his inner wrist, praying for something. Hoping.

“He’s already dead.” The voice was closer behind her than she had thought and she jumped again. “I made sure it was instant. He didn't suffer. It was quick. The bullet went straight through his heart. He didn't suffer.” The last three words were no more than an airy whisper so much so that Rose wasn’t sure whether she had heard it or imagined it.

“You murdered him.” Apparently from anger came bravery. Or stupidity. Rose couldn’t decide which.

“Please don’t say that.”

She turned to look up at him, only to find he was knelt down; at the same level she was.

“You murdered him.” She repeated. Her tone colder than the snow that crunched outside.

“Don’t say that!” He shouted and swiftly stood, turning his back to her.

Rose had found her answer. It was definitely stupidity. Her fear came back in full swing; her anger melting quicker than the snow would when the mid-day sun shone tomorrow.

Music Crush #7

Hello!

I have a playlist on my iTunes called "Clever Little Thing" (whitty name, as always...) which automatically puts every song which is rated four stars or above into it. Well, I've been listening to that this week and it's reacquainted me with some oldies that I'd completely forgotten about.

This week's song is a little old and different...

La la la la la la la la la...

Hannah Montana

~~~

I'll Always Remember You

I can feel all your judgments and I'm hurt...

I can bet a lot of you used to watch Hannah Montana, too or you at least listened to her!

This song is such a sad one for us Hannah Montana lovers because, *HUGE SPOILER* this is when she makes the decision it's time to reveal who Hannah Montana really is *gasp*!

I youtube'd the song to remind me of the actual scene the song was in and I remembered it instantly just from the still image. I remember when I watched that episode, I think I was about 14/15 and I'd been watching Hannah Montana since the first ever episode, so I loved the way it flashed back through her memories. In case you can't tell, I was a bit of a Hannah Montana obsessive for a small portion of my life.

It's the lyrics to this song that I really love though, you don't have to like Hannah Montana (or Miley Cyrus) to appreciate them.

But yesterday's gone we gotta keep moving on

I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya

The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph

And hold you in my heart forever

I'll always remember you

These lyrics mean a lot to me because of things that have happened in my personal life but I think they can mean so many different things to so many different people, whether it be about family or just your best friends. I know that these lyrics are something that stuck by me when it came to going to university and leaving home and my friends because I knew that some I might not see again.

Whilst I'm on a bit of a Hannah Montana binge, I'm going to mention another Hannah Montana/ Miley Cyrus song that I love, for the lyrics (although I obviously loved (and cried a lot) when it was shown on Hannah Montana, too!).

In fact, just before I reveal the song, if you look at the lyrics to any Hannah Montana song, they all have a lot of truth to them and they aren't all about love and romance, which I think is why I like a lot of them. I find a lot of songs these days are about love or break-ups, not just about life. We need more songs about life, something we all have a lot of!

Wherever I Go

The lyrics in this song are incredible.

Whoever wrote that song deserves a Grammy... or whatever award it is you get for writing brilliant songs.

I've always got the memories while I'm finding out who I'm gonna be

We might be apart but I hope you always know

You'll be with me wherever I go

I know that I'm often scared of moving on because I don't want to lose anyone but as long as we have memories then we shouldn't be scared about moving on. It's a positive thing. We have to make new memories or we'd have a pretty boring life if we were just living on memories of the past.

Think of your memories as an easy, portable, limitless scrapbook. You will never forget the best memories, no matter how many more you make.

Katie x

THE Bucket List

Hello!

I have a list of things I want to do before I... pass over to the other side? Is that the nicest way of saying it? I'm not sure. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I have a bit of bucket list. Things that I want to do before I die. It's not something I've ever properly written down or anything; they're just things that, somewhere along my way in life, I've thought "I have to do that someday!"

I've decided that it's maybe time I actually wrote them down, though... Or some of them, at least. This way, not only can I never forget if my clumsiness leaves me with amnesia, but there will be people to remind me that I made this list and never to give up on it. Here are a few of them.

1.

Publish a novel!

This one is something I have always wanted to do. As in, my whole life. Ever since I was just little. I've always wanted to have my own writing published. Therefore, it's a goal that I really, really, really, really, really want to achieve before I die! Like, seriously. Publish a novel. I have to do that.

And there's my bucket list over! Thanks for reading! Jokes. Don't stop reading yet! I was joking! Promise. I have just a few more.

2.

This is going to sound like such a silly one but, I want to get a tattoo.

I know what you're probably all thinking, if I want a tattoo, I'm old enough, I should just go get one. It's not that easy though. No one in my family has a tattoo. Nor are they very open to them. Even my brother, who was always the rebel child when he was younger, never came home with a tattoo. It's something that I really want to do but I feel like I would feel a lot better and a lot more confident about it if I had my family's approval. So I guess this one's more of a "get my family's approval for a tattoo" goal, than actually getting the tattoo.

3.

Own my own house/apartment.

This is such a stereotypical one, I know, but it's something I really want some day. I would just love to have a place that I could call mine and could decorate however I want... In fact it's the decorating and buying little, unique things for it that really gets me about this one. I love going into shops and looking at all the cute home decor and picking which bits I would have if I was furnishing and embellishing my own wee abode! So if someone would like to give me a limitless amount of money for when I decide to tick this one off my list, that would be great! No? Oh. Okay then...

4.

Travel.

Obviously I travel, I did a post (HERE) about going on holiday to Turkey with my mama last month and I loved every minute of it, but I want to travel more. I'm sure that sounds really greedy but the majority of my life we have gone to Turkey because my step-dad's family live there, and I always want to go some place different. I would love to go to Australia (bucket-list typical, I realise) or, more than anything, I want to go to New York. A lot of my friends have been there or are going there and they're very fond of telling me what an amazing place it is. So, I want to visit the Big Apple, Concrete Jungle, The City That Never Sleeps, New York - I want to go there soooo bad.

5.

Family.

I want my own family, like most people, but this one is more about the incredible family that I already have. They're always there for me and support me in everything I need and do, so I want to be able to give back to them. All sentimental and soppy of me, I know, but I really do want to be able to do for them what they've done for me one day. Okay, mushiness over.

So there are five things I want to make sure I try my hardest to do before I die. I'll probably have forgotten half of them before tomorrow but then they'll come back to me eventually, they always do. Or, now I can just look here and remember them - perfect!

Katie x

The Book that Turned Me into an Emotional Wreck

Hello!

Almost exactly a year ago, I read The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. It was possibly one of the most emotive books I have ever read and it took me quite a while to recover from it! However, I wrote a review as soon as I'd read it, mainly to try and keep it fresh in my mind as I had to make notes on it for my uni course. I've been looking through my laptop files and found it and I thought I should share it with you, because it really is a truly amazing book.

(Obviously, if I wrote this review at this time last year, it was done before I went to university. Sooooo, just pretend we're in 2013, rather than 2014 and I haven't started my first year of uni yet!)

I am an English Literature and Creative Writing student and, therefore, I have to read a lot and write a lot - both of which thrill me. However, before I go to university and my lectures start, there are a couple of books I need to have read and made notes on. One of which is The Kite Runner.

I have just finished it and, I can honestly say, I have never cried so much at one book in my entire life. In fact I think there are only a handful of times that I have cried at anything this much in my entire life.

It is one of the most harrowing and heart-breaking books I have ever read, without doubt, and I read tons. I've read things like Private Peaceful, which left me speechless and in tears. I even read The Road, by Cormac McCarthy, for my A-Levels last year, and if anyone has ever read this, they will know what I mean when I say it is the most depressing book in the world. The Kite Runner is an extremely close second to both of these, if it's not worse.

I think the difference is that, in The Road, there were only two main characters and that was it, everything that happened was simultaneous, they were living in an apocalyptic world for goodness sake, of course it wasn't going to be all rainbows and sunshine! But, in The Kite Runner it starts off making you think it's going to be exactly rainbows and sunshine and then things happen that make you feel like your chest is being torn open and someone is slowly squeezing the blood vessels around your heart, one by one, so you die in a horrifically slow, and painful, way... Wow, that was dramatic - maybe that should be in The Road. 

Just as you think something good is happening in The Kite Runner you learn different; it changes at a blink of the eye. I feel like all I've done since I hit the seventy-ish page mark is cry, and cry, and cry. And cry some more. And then a bit more. And, yeah, you get the gist. I don't want to give anything away but the point of view is that of a little boy and it's like you're growing up with him and his family. However, you go from liking him, to despising him with so much hatred in your body that you don't know what to do with yourself, to thinking he's okay, to disliking him again, to feeling sorry for him and forgiving him, to being happy for him, to thinking he's an idiot and an asshole (pardon, my language - this book has done bad things to my mental state) to then liking, maybe even loving him again, to blaming him and I'm currently in between blaming him and possibly, maybe, liking him a little bit again. Maybe edging more towards the liking bit actually, after reading the last words:

""For you, a thousand times over," I heard myself say."

Anyone who has already read this book will understand just how cry-worthy this sentence is, of both happiness and sadness - I can't decide which emotion wins over.

The fact that this book has made me feel so many different feelings in the space of a day and a bit just shows how well written the book is. I may not like the book enough to read it again but that's because it's turning me into an emotional wreck, not because it's not expertly written. In fact, to invoke this kind of reaction in a person it has to be well written and has to make you love and hate parts of it strongly enough that it takes over your emotions. Or at least that's what I think. I know that I will never forget this book as long as I live, it has had that much of an effect on me.

For any literature student, you will realise how weird this is because it's kind of a law in novels that you should feel the most proximity with the character whom's point of view it is from, but that isn't necessarily the case in this book. All of my feelings, closeness, everything, lie with the character Hassan in this book. Completely and utterly. I would rather watch every other person in the world (of the book, obviously) suffer than watch anything happen to him. 

The things that happen in this book are scarily close to things that happen in real life and are happening all around us; I think that's part of the reason it provokes such a big reaction from me. The things that some of the characters suffer in this book happen to people in everyday life in certain countries. 

I'n sorry if this was a boring, rambly review about something you really don't give a damn about but I needed to get that out of my system. Also, if you do like to read, then you should read The Kite Runner, you just need to either have a heart of stone or a super-size box of tissues. Oh, and don't read it in public places - I made that mistake and got some funny looks at the tears streaming down my face. My remedy is to have a nice book, that I know is very happy, waiting on the sidelines for the minute I finish this one! Or if you're more of a movie person, I suggest something like Mary Poppins or Cinderella ready to watch afterwards.

It really is one of the best books I've ever read though. It just hurts you a little bit inside; it gives you a completely different perspective on the world though and you can't help but love certain characters.

Katie x