The Gym Thing

Hi!

I'm sitting here, a bright red, sweaty mess having just gotten back from the gym and I thought now would be the perfect time to write a blog post... TMI?

Every time I go to the gym I have a bout of anxiousness before I go, worrying about all the issues I have with actually going to the public sweat box. 

I don't particularly care about losing weight, it would be an awesome bonus but that's not my main reason for going to the gym. I go to be fit and healthy. It usually makes me feel better about myself too if I'm having a shit day. However, I always worry about the kind of people that are already at the gym because, nine times out of ten, everyone I see at the gym looks like they're already as fit and healthy as they're going to get and they're just there to maintain it, which is fine, but I always worry about the fact that I'm not going to fit in (which is a stupid worry, may I add).

So before I go to the gym, everything bad that could possibly happen runs through my head.

1.

Everyone's going to be watching me... They're not, but that's what my brain convinces me is going to happen.

In reality, they're too busy getting on with their own workout (the whole reason everyone is there!) than bothering with me. As far as they're concerned, I'm just another person at the gym. I still have the same panic every time though.

2.

I'm going to go bright red and get horribly sweaty.

You have no idea how long it took me to convince myself that this is natural. Everyone gets sweaty and most people go bright red, whether it's their face, arms, legs, or all three - it happens. Apart from those few lucky people who appear normal throughout their entire workout; I envy these people. A lot. In my mind though, the redder and sweatier I am, the harder I'm working (because, trust me, I go fire engine red; it's not a flattering shade). It took me a long time to come to this realisation and it's gross, but true.

3.

Clumsiness.

I'm so clumsy it's unreal and I always have this little niggling feeling that something stupid is going to happen to me, like I'm going to fall off the treadmill, or my foot's going to slip on the cross-trainer. None of this has happened yet. I've kind of come round to the reality that it will one day but until that day I really need to stop worrying about it.

4.

All the different machines are scary.

Yes, I'm aware of how weird and slightly pathetic this sounds and maybe not all of them are scary but a lot of them can be. I usually stick to the cross-trainer, treadmill and rowing machine but sometimes I want to try something different and I'm too scared to, in case I have no idea what I'm doing when I get on it and look like an idiot. There are people at the gym who are trained and are supposed to help you with this kind of thing when you ask but I'm always too scared to ask them... Way to go, Katie.

5.

Weights.
I really, really, really want to get into using the weights because I'm not the strongest of people, I'm not weak either but it's something I should probably work on. There's normally a mass of guys with huge arms (HUGE) surrounding them though and that just puts me off because; one, I don't want to get in the middle of a group of guys just to use them; two, I'm not entirely sure how to use them and the last thing I want is them all watching me or, even worse, offering to help, my body can't deal with that kind of embarrassment. 

I'm not the biggest gym-goer and I'm not going to say "ooh, I love getting up everyday and going to the gym" because I don't. I love my bed and books too much. That bit in the movie Pitch Perfect, where Fat Amy does her horizontal running is perfect to me - why can't we just all do that all the time! However, once I get to the gym, I do genuinely enjoy it. It's something to do with serotonin levels being increased by exercise or something like that - my biology knowledge is not amazing but I'm pretty sure I learnt that at school once.

I'll get over my issues with the gym one day but until that day I'll carry on having my mini panic about those gym things before I go!

Katie x

For the Birthday Princess...

Dear Little One,

This is just a little letter to you that, I hope, one day in the future when you're all grown up, you'll read and see just how much I love you and how special you are.

You're officially two as of the exact time this post went up!

Until there is someone as special as you in your own life, you will never understand just how quick you're growing up. I remember the first day I saw you, and the next day, and the day after that too. (Shhh, don't tell your sisters but you were definitely the most well-behaved baby out of the three of you ;) ). You were the most precious little thing I'd ever seen, in your bundle of pinkness! This is a warning, Daisy Doo, stop growing up! Even when you're thirteen, and probably don't want big hugs from me, I'll be giving them to you, because you'll always be my baby goddaughter that nuzzled into my chest when you couldn't sleep.

I know I'm bias, so some might say my opinion doesn't really count, but you're the most beautiful little girl there is, with your big blue eyes and little blonde pigtails - you make my heart melt, baby girl - dye your hair and I'm going to cry... Buckets! Seriously. Don't dye your hair. It's beautiful. And don't you dare ever let anybody tell you you're not the most stunning and delicate Little One that they ever did see, because you just tell me and I'm gonna go kick some butt! You're amazing.

Every time I see you, no matter how often it is, you always seem to have grown up that little bit more, saying new words  - your current favourites are "owanges", "no", "babyyy" and "baf", just in case you're wondering - and doing new things; I know you'll be off to school before I know it!

It was because of me going to university that we started our real, whole-day little park days and play dates - it was something that just the two of us could do together and get some proper Daisy and Tatie time, and I could spoil you tons too (remember, all of those bubbles and cakes are a secret from mummy - we always forget to save any for the grown-ups ;) ). It's also probably the reason that every time you manage to get hold of my phone you look at it and go "cheeeeeese" with a big, cheesy grin on your face.

You make me smile on days you don't even know I'm feeling down and, it's on them days especially, I don't know what I'd do without you. You're this gorgeous little light that nobody can help but love. All I ever want to do is see that smile on your face and I'm not going to be happy if anyone ever stops you from smiling - I'll kick their butt too! Promise.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for you (and you know it, I'm sure!), every time I walk through the door you have that cheeky grin on your face, as if to say you already have planned where you're taking me to that day (I don't get the choice, I just follow, and that's the way I love it). One day you can hopefully look back at this blog, figure out how this blog came about (I know you're going to be a clever girl, so that shouldn't be difficult for you) and see all of the different places we've been and what we've done.

I love you so much, Little One.

Tatie xxxxxx

P.s. I have a lot of embarrassing baby pictures of you, expect me to show them to any and all future boyfriends - it's in my Godmother contract!

That Awkward Moment When...

Hello!

I'm sure we've all had plenty of awkward moments throughout life that we really don't want anyone to know about, but I'm going to be brave and share five of those moments with you... Wish me luck!

1.

Of course there's that thing that every child does at some point in school where they call their teacher "mum" (or dad). Don't try and deny it, we all did it! If you're anything like me though, you'll do it when everyone is silent and has no one else to listen to but you and (if it wasn't awkward enough already!) the teacher will just leave you hanging, because why would they answer someone shouting "mum" across the classroom when that's not their name? Definitely not the best moment for the quiet, shy girl.

2.

Anybody who knows me will know just how clumsy I am; this doesn't bode well in public situations. I once fell flat on my face in the middle of town and all my friend did was stand and laugh at me, she's lovely... really! In true Katie-style, I got up, pretended nothing had happened and started walking, leaving my friend in hysterics to catch up to me. 

3.

Or if you want a more recent example, my flat mates and I went out one night and the floor in the club was grossly sticky, there had been that much alcohol spilled all over it. I don't drink much when it comes to alcohol (no reason, I just don't really like it) but on this occasion, it had just been my birthday, so a friend offered to buy me a drink and I said yes. I was walking with him to the bar when my feet suddenly stopped moving, unfortunately my body didn't get the message quick enough. Yes. You got it. I face planted a very sticky floor in the middle of a lot of drunk feet. It was a painful moment, for my body and my dignity. Needless to say I definitely needed that drink afterwards. Once again, my friend laughed at me, he did help me up at the same time though, so I'll forgive him. The only good thing about that moment was that everyone was so drunk, very few people remember it - thank goodness!

When I think about it, I've actually had waaay too many awkward moments in nightclubs!

4.

Another was one of the first times I ever went out after I turned eighteen. It was a student night so they were being particularly thorough about checking I.D.'s and, of course, I would get stuck behind the guy trying to use a fake I.D., so by the time it was my turn I had it out, ready, along with the entry fee. Here's the awkward part: it was just a young guy checking them, probably not much older than eighteen/nineteen, so when he turned to me, and I had mine ready, he said "I like a girl that's prepared." cringe! I turned a very unflattering, beetroot, shade of red and quickly tried to get away as soon as I could. Awkward.

5.

The last situation was one I only witnessed, thank goodness! I don't think I would've coped well if it had been my awkward moment! My friend decided she wanted a cocktail so when the barman eventually came and asked her what she wanted, she innocently replied "Sex On the Beach" - I'm sure you know what's coming. She'd already had quite a bit to drink so she wasn't really thinking about what she was saying before she said it. The barman had a cheeky grin on his face and turned to her and said "anytime, love". It wasn't until then that she realised exactly what she'd said. Of course she tried to backtrack but all she really did was make it worse, whilst I stood there trying, and failing, to contain my laughter!

I have a feeling that those moments will no doubt end up being repeated in my future, too!

Katie x