'So what are your plans now?'

When you're in your final year of university, hell, not even your final year - as soon as you say you're going to university - everyone expects you to have a plan. To know what you're going to do with your life. But let's be honest here, there are very few people that have a plan for after university and, until very recently I was one of those people too.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when you go to a friends house and their parents start asking questions about your future, or you go to a family event and all of these people, some of whom you don't even know, ask you 'What are your plans?', 'What are you going to do when you finish university?', 'Have you got a job yet?'. This annoys the poop out of me. I always have the same answer too: 'I haven't decided'. Yet they still continue to ask me 'What do you want to do?'. By this point a million people have probably already asked me this question and I'm more than miffed, gritting my teeth, I reply once again with 'I. Don't. Know'. 

If you're one of those people that asks these questions and you're reading this: We hate it. Don't ask them. If you do ask and we say 'I don't know', leave it at that. We either really don't know or we really don't want to talk about it.

I consider myself very lucky because I've just managed to get a job in my home town, but there are certain people in my life (no names are being mentioned but they're who you expect to have opinions about everything you do) who don't agree with the job I've got because it has nothing to do with my degree.

What I think people need to consider when leaving university, planning what you're going to do next doesn't necessarily have to involve your degree. Personally, after three years of dedicating my life to studying everything about English Literature, I need a break now. I need to do something that doesn't involve me sitting and analysing a million and one books and what the hidden meaning behind every word is. I'm not saying that the job I have is something I'm going to do forever, but I'm not saying it's not either. I'm passionate about English but I'm passionate about this job too.

As for the Creative Writing side of my degree, to me I'm doing that right now by writing this blog post. Creative writing is something I can do whether I have a job in that area or not. I will always love writing stories but I can do that on my days off and in my spare time, as well as blogging. 

At the moment, my plan is to do this job for a year and then reevaluate. If I'm really loving it then chances are I'll carry on doing it because why stop doing something you love? If I'm not sure it's the job for me then at least it's been an experience and I can move on and try something different.

Just remember that we're still young. We have plenty of time to figure out what we want to do with the rest of our lives, but we're better to experiment now and try different things because if we go straight into a full time career that we plan on doing for the rest of our lives then we can't really leave that job. We're stuck there and if we want to try something different we can't or we run the risk of losing the job we worked so hard for in the first place. 

So the next time you're at a family event and you've got all of those random family members that you're not sure you've even met before asking all the awkward questions, just tell them 'I don't know and that's okay, so please don't ask me again'. <ake sure you have that sickly sweet smile on as well, the one that looks really polite but really says 'f**k off'.

Katie x

The Gym Thing

Hi!

I'm sitting here, a bright red, sweaty mess having just gotten back from the gym and I thought now would be the perfect time to write a blog post... TMI?

Every time I go to the gym I have a bout of anxiousness before I go, worrying about all the issues I have with actually going to the public sweat box. 

I don't particularly care about losing weight, it would be an awesome bonus but that's not my main reason for going to the gym. I go to be fit and healthy. It usually makes me feel better about myself too if I'm having a shit day. However, I always worry about the kind of people that are already at the gym because, nine times out of ten, everyone I see at the gym looks like they're already as fit and healthy as they're going to get and they're just there to maintain it, which is fine, but I always worry about the fact that I'm not going to fit in (which is a stupid worry, may I add).

So before I go to the gym, everything bad that could possibly happen runs through my head.

1.

Everyone's going to be watching me... They're not, but that's what my brain convinces me is going to happen.

In reality, they're too busy getting on with their own workout (the whole reason everyone is there!) than bothering with me. As far as they're concerned, I'm just another person at the gym. I still have the same panic every time though.

2.

I'm going to go bright red and get horribly sweaty.

You have no idea how long it took me to convince myself that this is natural. Everyone gets sweaty and most people go bright red, whether it's their face, arms, legs, or all three - it happens. Apart from those few lucky people who appear normal throughout their entire workout; I envy these people. A lot. In my mind though, the redder and sweatier I am, the harder I'm working (because, trust me, I go fire engine red; it's not a flattering shade). It took me a long time to come to this realisation and it's gross, but true.

3.

Clumsiness.

I'm so clumsy it's unreal and I always have this little niggling feeling that something stupid is going to happen to me, like I'm going to fall off the treadmill, or my foot's going to slip on the cross-trainer. None of this has happened yet. I've kind of come round to the reality that it will one day but until that day I really need to stop worrying about it.

4.

All the different machines are scary.

Yes, I'm aware of how weird and slightly pathetic this sounds and maybe not all of them are scary but a lot of them can be. I usually stick to the cross-trainer, treadmill and rowing machine but sometimes I want to try something different and I'm too scared to, in case I have no idea what I'm doing when I get on it and look like an idiot. There are people at the gym who are trained and are supposed to help you with this kind of thing when you ask but I'm always too scared to ask them... Way to go, Katie.

5.

Weights.
I really, really, really want to get into using the weights because I'm not the strongest of people, I'm not weak either but it's something I should probably work on. There's normally a mass of guys with huge arms (HUGE) surrounding them though and that just puts me off because; one, I don't want to get in the middle of a group of guys just to use them; two, I'm not entirely sure how to use them and the last thing I want is them all watching me or, even worse, offering to help, my body can't deal with that kind of embarrassment. 

I'm not the biggest gym-goer and I'm not going to say "ooh, I love getting up everyday and going to the gym" because I don't. I love my bed and books too much. That bit in the movie Pitch Perfect, where Fat Amy does her horizontal running is perfect to me - why can't we just all do that all the time! However, once I get to the gym, I do genuinely enjoy it. It's something to do with serotonin levels being increased by exercise or something like that - my biology knowledge is not amazing but I'm pretty sure I learnt that at school once.

I'll get over my issues with the gym one day but until that day I'll carry on having my mini panic about those gym things before I go!

Katie x

Snapchat's Issues

Hello!

I never used to be that into Snapchat. When it first came out, I got it because everyone said it was great but I didn't really get the allure to it so I gave up, keeping it just so I could receive other people's Snapchats. However, since coming back to uni, I have become a bit of a Snapchat addict - but only on a night out.

For those of you who don't know what Snapchat is (where have you been for the last two years?!), it's an app you can get on your phone, where you take a picture and you can send it to a friend for anything up to 10 seconds, then after that it's never to be seen again. They have a bit on it now called "My Story" too, which is what I make the most use of, anything you add to it will stay there for 24 hours then disappear, again never to be seen afterwards. 

Well this comes in very handy if you're going on a night out with your friends because, not only does it document your night to all of your other friends who aren't there, it allows you to look at all the photos you took the next day - including the really awful ones that you wish no one had ever seen. 

I have previously mentioned that I'm not much of a drinker when it comes to alcohol but that seems to have changed slightly this year. I still don't drink to the point where I can't remember anything or I start throwing up everywhere - I know my limits, don't worry! I definitely drink more this year though and sometimes you forget the little things in the moment. For example, one of the first nights my flatmates and I went out on in Refreshers Week, a random guy came up to us as we were trying to take a selfie and said he wanted to be in it - to get rid of him we took the selfie with him, posted it to Snapchat and that was that. The next morning, when we were looking through our stories, we found that picture and burst into laughter remembering it, because it was such a small moment we'd forgotten it even existed. 

But, as good as Snapchat is, there are still a few problems with it:

1.

Screenshot.

I mentioned earlier the picture can only be viewed for 10 seconds if you send it directly to the person, well that's true, unless they screenshot it. Yep, that's possible. The worst thing? I'm one of those people. I screenshot all of the disgusting-triple-chins-hilarious selfies that my best friend sends me because duh! So when anyone does it to me, I can't even complain at them.

2.

Butter Fingers.

The problem you come across not necessarily when you've had something alcoholic to drink, you just need to be clumsy like me, where you send the picture to the wrong person. I have done this too many times for it to be acceptable. The amount of ugly selfies my brother has accidentally received because my fingers have slipped at the last minute. It's a horrifying moment when you watch it send and know there's nothing you can do about it. My brother's the loving kind of person that will probably use it against me in years to come...

3.

Lighting.

The quality of Snapchat photos is not the best on a good day but when you're in a nightclub with flashing lights everywhere and it's a bit darker than your average room, it doesn't help. Needless to say, you're often left looking like a creepy stalker that's all dark in the back corner of the picture or you're bright white and every flaw you have is emphasised - this is usually what happens to all of mine. Just my luck.

So there are a few of Snapchats issues. Luckily, to help combat the last one, they do have two filters now. Two. Wow. But yeah. I have a love-hate relationship with Snapchat and I doubt that's going to change anytime soon.

Katie x 

Completely unrelated side-note here but, if anyone could complete THIS survey for me that would be amazingly helpful - it's for a uni thing and I hope to get a placement at the end of it, so any and all feedback is welcome! Thank youuuu! (Here's another link, in case the other one doesn't work :) https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CVG5YBB )

Mid Week Pick-Me-Up #10

Hello!

It took me four times to write the title to this post correctly, my fingers are just being more clumsy than normal today (this is basically me warning you about any strange,illegible words that might sprout up at any point in this post - it's my fingers fault, not mine!).

"Follow your heart but take your brain with you." - Alfred Adler

This quote is a clever one, if you ask me. It has life well and truly figured out.

I don't know about anyone else but, all the way through school, you're told to follow your heart and not listen to other people, just do what you want to. Although this is true to a certain extent, you can't just follow your heart and not think about what it is you're doing. For example, if your heart tells you you want to travel, that's great but you need to have your brain think about whether you can afford it or if it's practical.

I have a friend who has always wanted to go to one university. They didn't get into it the first year they applied, so they declined every other offer they had as well, then completely changed their life plan and what course they wanted to do, just so they could re-apply to the same university the next year. It was also the only university they applied to the second year but, again, they didn't get in. She was following her heart to the university and city she wanted to be in but wasn't thinking about the other options or the fact that she might not get in again.

I'm all for following your heart and dreams, I ended up in Nottingham because I followed my heart, but I made the mistake of not thinking about it properly. I didn't think about how far away it was from my home; how much I would miss my family; how difficult it would be to get home when I needed to. I'm not saying I wouldn't have ended up in Nottingham if I had thought about those things because I love it there but at least I would have realised what I was doing before I got there.

Your brain is more logical than your heart, but your heart is more truthful than your brain. Use both.

Katie x 

Hair Problems

Hello!

Hair dye. Yep, we’re going there.

I’m nineteen years old and I have never once dyed my hair, I think I deserve a massive pat on the back for that, it's quite the achievement in my opinion! Every single one of my friends has dyed their hair at least once, most several, and I have not once given into the peer pressure! I’ve been getting really bored of my hair lately, though and I want to do something different with it. 

I’m against cutting it all off because, one; I’ve been growing it for a hell of a long time to get it to the length it’s at, and two; I’ll only like my short hair for a few months, max, and then I’ll want long hair again – something that I can’t just grow back at the click of my fingers.

I’ve tried fringes, no fringes, side fringes, all fringes and, again, I like them for a few months then I get bored of them too.

Then the other night I had a dream in which my hair was an ombré of my natural, dark brown colour and a honey blonde at the ends and it has made me seriously think about doing it. My problem? I’m not brave enough.

My hair is the one thing I love, and always have loved, about myself; I love the colour, I love it’s style (most of the time), it’s not really difficult to manage like some people’s, my hair has always been pretty nice to me and I’m scared, no, terrified, of ruining it.

I don’t want to do something as extreme as dye my hair and not like it, then not be able to get it back to my original colour and healthiness. I over-think, I know.

I’m so indecisive too, I can’t ever make a decision - I struggle to decide what I want for dinner every night! Even if I’m sure of which choice I want, I won’t make the decision in case someone else doesn’t agree!

I also considered maybe just putting in a few, little mulberry/cranberry red streaks but, again, I’m not quite brave enough, although I think that wouldn’t be quite as drastic as going full on blonde at the tips of my hair… I think a dark red could easily be disguised to with my colour hair if I decided I didn't like it.

I don’t knowwwww… I probably won’t end up doing it but I’d like to think I might. I really do want to… We’ll see...

Katie x

The Problems With Hospitals

Hello!

I had to have an operation on my ear on Wednesday - nothing too serious, but it was still an operation. It does mean I might struggle with posts over the next few days though, so sorry if there becomes a distinct lacking of action on this little space, I'll be back on it as soon as possible!

The timing of this sucks too, I had the opportunity to go on a camping trip this weekend with Daisy Doo but had to turn it down, seen as I'm not exactly in the best state. It also means I have to miss a week of work, which sucks. Oh well! It'll all be worth it in the end!

This isn't the first time I've had this operation but it was a bit bigger this time, in hope that it would be the last time I have to have it. The one thing that always gets me every time is that I can't wash my hair for a week - it gives me the serious heeby-jeebies! I hate having gross, greasy hair... I guess it just means I won't be leaving the house for a week! 

There are so many things I hate about hospitals, here are just some of them!

1.

Food.

I cannot stand hospital food, this probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a majorly fussy eater - even my toast has to be cooked in a certain way if you expect me to eat it! This kind of fussiness doesn't bode well for me in hospitals though because, as most people will know, hospital food is in a constant state of sucking, yuckiness... Or is that just English hospitals?

2.

The Smell.

I bet this seems like such a silly thing to dislike about hospitals but I have a seriously strong sense of smell. I think it's because people say that when one of your senses is weaker, another is stronger; well my hearing isn't the best so I think that's why my ability to smell things is amazingly good. It comes in rather useful at times but it's not the best thing to have in a hospital - all I can ever smell is antibacterial wash and occasionally, if someone's bleeding a lot, I can smell blood too, which there is obviously quite a lot of in a hospital... Ewww. 

3.

Boredom.

There is never much to do in a hospital but sit and be nosy. If you've just come round from an anaesthetic (like I had) you don't really have the mental capacity to focus on much, so the likes of reading is out of the question (sad and extremely cry-worthy, I know). I don't know what it's like in other hospitals around the world but, you have to pay for the TV's in English hospitals - something I refuse to do - and so the only other option is to just sit (or lie) there and be bored. Bored, bored, bored.

So there's what I think of hospitals. The only thing I'm looking forward to now is a week relaxing in my bed! Lots of sweet snacks are in order and plenty of feel-good movies! 

Katie x

A Day of Little Ones: Part 2

Hello!

The afternoon part of my day last Thursday was spent with Megan and Sophie, who are so grown up now it amazes me! I look at them and I'm just like "when did you shoot up?! This is a recent thing... Right?". It seems to have just dawned on me recently how big they're getting - Megan, the oldest, will even be off to secondary school (high school) in September next year! I remember when they were just little babies, it feels weird to see them so grown up and giving you answers to things that you forget a nine year old knows!

Anyway, my distress of them growing up so quickly aside, here is my afternoon with the girlies!

If you didn't see yesterday's post with Part One, click HERE to give it a quick read!

 One of these bikes decided to break whilst we were at the park, with the breaks stuck on it, unfortunately I got the joy of pushing it all the way home!

 Little gymnastic girlies! They're amazing at it! I went to see their gym show last week and I was amazed by what some of the children in the show could do and none of them were older than ten!

 To say I had a mini heart attack when I turned around and saw them climbing this tree would be an understatement!

 I got over it though, they assured me they'd done it plenty of times before... Not going to lie, it still didn't stop my heart from pounding twice as fast as it should have.

 She's a right poser this one!

We all went out for a little meal afterwards with some other friends - I especially love the Daisy and her Megan in this photo, so cute!

Katie x

Sleeping Problems

Hello!

I have had the problem lately of frequently 'sleeping in'. Not necessarily missing anything important, or missing anything at all, because of these extra long lie-ins but it's definitely turning into a bad habit.

The feeling of not having to set an alarm for the morning is blissful! Nothing will ever beat that feeling when you can go to sleep and you don't have to count how many hours of sleep you can get before you have to wake up to go out to a class or a meeting. 

The only problem is, because I haven't been setting any alarms, I've not been waking up until the late hours of the morning... sometimes even the early hours of the afternoon. Although this sounds amazing (and is at the time) you start to realise it's a problem when you go to bed at, let's saaaay, 11pm and you. Can't. Sleep. Then you spend the next hour tossing and turning knowing you have something important that you have to be up early for. Then you spend the next hour counting how many hours of sleep you're going to get if you go to sleep at the precise minute. The next hour you spend frustrated which only makes your chances of sleep even less because you're waking yourself up more by thinking of how much you wish you could just sleep. And so it goes on, in that exact same cycle.

Even when you know you don't have anything to do the next day so it doesn't really matter how late you're up and what time you go to sleep, you stay up later either reading or on the internet, social networking, writing, something that's stopping you from sleeping. This something means that, when you do eventually get to sleep in the early hours of the morning, you wake up even later in the day and the whole thing is repeated again the next night. It never ends. 

So, when I've had to get up early the past few days I've felt like a zombified version of myself, more socially inept than normal, walking around thinking shop floors look like comfy places to sleep - what does it matter if people stare at you or you get trampled on, at least you'd be sleeping...?

It's been a tired few days, in case you can't tell, and yet once again, I'm sitting writing this post and watching countless YouTube videos at the same time and it's nearly half-eleven at night, so the chances of me going to sleep anytime soon are slim. I need help!

Katie x

The Unsung Luxuries

Hello!

I've been home for exactly a week now and, I must say, there are some luxuries which I have definitely missed whilst I've been at uni.

1.

Baths

Baths galore! I don't understand how someone can't love to unwind in a heavenly, hot bath, that's just crazy. I would live in the bath if that were possible... I couldn't deal with the prune-like skin though. Having only the option of showers since September has definitely given me more appreciation for my relaxing bath and book time!

2.

My Own Bed

Oh man, how I've missed my bed! I know that my bed at uni was technically 'mine' but it wasn't a double bed and it was definitely not as comfy as my luxuriously sized cushioned bed, with a big fluffy duvet that I can wrap myself in and stay happily cosy for the whole day.

3.

The Little Ones (obviously)

How could I not miss my babies like crazy? I hate missing seeing all of them grow up because it feels like everyday something new happens with them - at the minute, Daisy's favourite word is "shooooooes" - and as for the older ones, they're just getting way too clever! I should be able to answer the math's questions a nine year old poses to me - apparently not!

4.

Unlimited Food Supplies

I will never take food for granted again! At home, food is limitless (to a certain extent, anyway). If I want extra cheese, I can just go get it. Or if I fancy a yoghurt, I can go get that too! At uni I couldn't have that extra cheese because, much to my horror, cheese costs a hell of a lot of money when it's not your parents paying for it! Also, I don't have to wash the dishes every night because I'm rarely the only one eating, yippee!

5.

The Laundry Problems

I no longer have those horrible problems of "I don't want to pay £2 just to wash a jumper" because there tends to be enough laundry in our house to make a full load and I don't have to pay £2 every time I have to do it, which means I can where my favourite jumper whenever I want!

At least I can say I fully appreciate the unsung and unappreciated luxuries now!

Katie x

Those Bad Habits

Hello!

I've recently had the realisation that I have a really bad habit when it comes to writing blog posts... I always start writing them really late at night. For example, I'm currently writing this at twenty eight minutes past twelve... At night. As in midnight. 

I know I should be in bed right now. 

I know I should be trying to get some sleep. 

I know I have to get up early. 

I know I'm spending my day tomorrow with a two year old. 

I know that if I don't get enough sleep I'm not going to want to run around after a two year old. 

Yet here I am. 

Still writing. 

Still wide awake.

I think I need help.

Most of my best stories (in my opinion) have been written in the early hours of the morning. Strangely for some reason, I'm okay with this habit, to a certain extent. It's when it gets to four/five 'o' clock in the morning and I'm  still on a writing buzz. The problem is, I'm on that kind of writing high where sleep is far, far away from me and there's no chance it's coming back to me anytime soon.

The other problem I always have is, I always have more of an urge to write when I have no time to write... It's really inappropriate! I would say my mind needs to get its priorities straight but it has. Writing always comes first in my head, unfortunately my university work disagrees - it's an ongoing war in my head and the right thing doesn't always win out.

I really need to sort my writing habits out!

Katie x

Headphone Problems

Hello!

Today was one of those painful days where I had to part with money and invest in a new set of headphones (or earphones, whatever you call them!). 

I honestly feel like all I ever do is buy headphones. They seem to break within a month of me having them, and that's if I'm lucky!

I have two sets of headphones that I use regularly, ones that are just cheap from B & M, I think they cost £1.99 or somewhere along that line and I use them for listening to music when I'm going to sleep and the other pair are slightly more expensive, although not by much. The pair I just bought were £10.99 but I know that I'll have to buy new ones sooner than I think. It's sad. These ones are pink, too! I don't want them to break.

Welcome to the family... Please try and live
longer than your ancestors?

I have managed to combat the quick breakage of my headphones to a certain extent, though. I think they broke a lot because I would use them to listen to music when I was going to sleep and I'm a right wriggler in a single bed (give me a double bed and I'll stay completely still - go figure!), so I decided on the cheap pair for bed and I have to say it's worked to a certain extent. The headphones that I use during the day last closer to two months now! Wowee. I also have a pillow that has speakers in it and I can plug my iPod into it - sounds weird, I know, but it's amazing! I usually use that when I'm at uni but obviously when I'm travelling home it would be a little bit awkward to carry a pillow with me through the three, sometimes four, different train stations I have to change at.

I've tried every type of headphones possible, although never the super expensive ones. I'd be too frightened they would break, or if they came with a guarantee I'd probably end up losing them or breaking them in such a way that the guarantee wouldn't cover it - I find myself in those situations a lot. Every type I've tried though don't seem to last any longer than the last pair. The best ones I ever had were by Phillips or JVC, I cant' remember which. I also can't remember what the actual specifics of them were but they were a marshmallow-foamy-type thing and they lasted me a record three, nearly four, months! Then they were discontinued... Story. Of. My. Life.

I have really funny ears, too - I don't mean like funny looking ears (or at least I don't think so), I mean like only certain headphones will actually fit in them. For example, I have loads of the ones that Apple give you with their iPods, iPhones, etc. lying around but they don't fit in my ears properly. They just fall out or, if I manage to get them to stay in, they hurt. 

I'm sure I'm not the only person that has problem with headphones but it's definitely one of the difficult struggles of life - finding the perfect headphones! ;)

Katie x

Outfit Issues

Hello!

Do you ever have those days where you're trying to choose what to wear in the morning and, when you look in the mirror, you just feel completely deflated? I'm having one of those days.

I'm a bit of a creature of habit in what I wear, usually skinny jeans and a jumper/nice t-shirt or if it's a particularly nice day which, let's be honest, rarely happen in the U.K., I'll wear a dress and leggings and those are the things I'm generally most comfortable in. But not even those are sitting right with me today.

I'm not a 'small' or slim person by any means but I know what suits my curvier figure and what doesn't. Today is one of those days of feeling like nothing suits me. I've tried on three tops so far and each time I've: looked in the mirror, walked away, and taken the top off.

I think today is just a day of no body confidence and I'm sure I'm not the only person who ever has these problems, chances are half the people I walk past today have thought the same things this morning. It's just sometimes it can cast a bit of a cloud over your whole day.

I always believe that if you're morning starts off well and you can put an outfit on that you really like, it sets you up for the rest of the day because you feel better about yourself, so you're in a better mood.

I know that the t-shirts I tried on today, I can try on again tomorrow and, chances are, I'll think they look great. 

As for today's outfit problems, there's a simple solution: Pajama day!

Katie x